Leroy's Writing Space

“At ease.” Captain Rex marched briskly past the ranks of saluting soldiers. He came to a halt beside the lectern. “Take a seat.”

The seventy men and women of the elite Talon Drop Company resumed their seats.

“The rumours are true, boys and girls.” Rex pressed a button on the lectern’s holo-console. A light-map beamed to life, and the seventeen planets, moons, and space stations of the Ligma Sector danced above the briefing room. “Following the fall of Kronos II, and the loss of the 47^th Liberation Fleet, Command has ordered a direct strike against Helinople IV. We’re going to end this war with a single drop. Our target? The Emperor himself.”

An uneasy silence filled the room. Helinople II was the Dominion’s Capital Planet, and the Emperor was the most guarded man alive.

A slouching soldier in the front row shook his head. “A direct attack against the palace would be suicide.”

“We not going in unprepared.” Rex pressed another button and the ground before him opened up. Three heavy duty storage crates rose through the floor on a platform. “Given the stakes of this mission, Command is outfitting us with the very latest from R&D.”

Rex punched a code into the first crate, which hissed open. “Dante.” He retrieved, with some difficulty, a huge, triple barrelled plasma cannon. “With the X-5 Matter Mutilator, you will have the honour of being our one-man artillery battery.”

Dante, a tall man, bulging with muscle, grinned as he took hold of the enormous cannon. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, sir.”

Rex nodded. “Slingshot.” A demur woman, tucked away in the darkest corner, regarded him coldly. Rex handed her a sniper rifle, longer than she was. “I’d like to introduce your new dancing partner, the MA5200 Deadeye. Pinpointed death at a range of forty-two miles, with zero trajectory fluctuation. They’ll only know what hit em when it hits em.”

Slingshot gave a curt nod and accepted the rifle. As she tested its holo-scope, Rex pulled out the last weapon. “Levi.”

“Sir.” The slouching man sat up.

“This one’s something special.” Rex held up what appeared to be the hilt of an ancient longsword. With the flick of a switch, a metre long, white energy beam materialized from the hilt’s end. “The lab boys call this one the Ion Blade. Concentrated Ion Molecules. Cuts through anything, and anybody. Guaranteed.”

He flicked the Ion Blade off, then handed the hilt to Levi.  

Levi stared at it.

“Alright people,” Rex returned to the lectern and mashed a few more buttons. All the planets but Helinople II disappeared. “We don’t have much time, and only one shot at this, so pay attention. I’m only going to tell…”  

“Sir?” said Levi. He was still looking at his hilt.

“What is it, Private?” said Rex.  

“Well sir…” Levi looked between his commanding officer, and the Ion Blade. “I mean… you’re… you’re joking, right?”

“What?”

“I mean, sir…” Levi flicked the switch, and the Ion Blade flickered to life. “Sir. It’s a sword, sir.”

“What’s wrong with it?” said Rex, sternly.

“What’s wrong with it?” said Levi, “it’s a fucking sword, sir! It belongs in a bloody museum is what’s wrong with it!”

“Belongs in a museum?’” said Rex, outraged. “This weapon is a technological breakthrough, at the forefront…”

“This is the forefront?” said Levi, waggling the hilt around, “what are we getting next week, the spinning wheel?”

“Maybe you weren’t listening, but I said it could cut through any armour. It could slice a Sheldrake Tank in two.”

“The only drawback being that I would be standing in front of said tank, as opposed to say, twenty miles away with a plasma cannon.”  

Rex didn’t say anything, instead electing to give Levi a very dangerous look.

“And while we’re on the topic of tanks,” continued Levi, ignoring the look, “just how many tanks are we expecting to find inside the Emperor’s palace?”

“He might have small tanks in there,” offered an earnest looking trooper, sitting next to Levi, “you know, smaller tanks, that can defend the inside of buildings and…uh…” He wilted under the look Levi was giving him.

“We have a word for that, genius,” said Levi, “it’s called soldiers, each of whom would be outfitted with this fancy new thing called guns. I’m not sure how concerned they’ll be when they see me coming at them with the spiritual successor to the rock tied to a stick.”

“It would take them by surprise,” offered the soldier, quietly.

“I suppose it would take them by surprise,” said Levi, “if I tried to fight them with a weapon from a renaissance fair. Suppose we could surprise them further and all show up in a chariot?”

Rex sighed, deeply. “Alright…”

Anything else I should bring?” said Levi, “a laser harpoon? Some jousting sticks, just in case?”

“Levi…”

“Duelling pistols? Flintlock, of course. I have a percussion cap, if you’re feeling fancy.”

“LEVI!!” Rex massaged his head. Defeated, he sighed again. “Would someone else like to have the Ion Blade?” He scanned the silent room. “Well? Anyone?”

Once again, the room sat in uncomfortable silence. No one quite met their commander’s eyes. Eventually, mercifully, someone tentatively raised their hand.

“Jenkins,” Rex clapped in sweet relief, “good man.” His expression hardened as he turned to Levi. “If you would be so kind?”

Levi deactivated the Ion Blade and sullenly handed it hilt first to Jenkins. 

“Now then…” said the Captain, “if there are no more further interruptions?” He made a show of looking around the room, while keeping one eye on Levi. Levi folded his arms, and went back to slouching in his chair. Jenkins, meanwhile, stared at his new sword with childlike wonder. “Alright then.” Rex turned back to the light-map. “Now, the 22^nd Shrieking Eagles will lead a diversionary raid at…”

Levi glared at Jenkins. “Why the hell do you want that?” he whispered.

“You said you didn’t want it,” Jenkins whispered back.

“I don’t,” hissed Levi, “but why do you want it?”

“It’s got lots of qualities, you know? It doesn’t need ammo, don’t need to be reloaded, don’t jam and it’ll be God’s gift in close quarters.”

“And what if your target is at the end of a hallway?” said Levi, “what are you gonna do? Throw your shoes at him?”

Jenkins didn’t seem to hear that comment. He opted instead to admire the Ion Blade hilt. “It also looks pretty keen…”

“It’s going to look pretty keen when its lying next to your damn corpse.”

“Shut up the pair of you!” shouted Rex.

#

A hail of plasma bolts screamed past the barricade. Captain Rex peeked just above the burnt out remains of the hover car before another barrage forced him back down. He tapped his intercom. “Say again? We’re pinned down.”

No response.

“Slingshot, come in. We’re trapped outside the main gate. Move to cover us. Over.”

The intercom cackled static.

“Dammit!” said Rex.

They were on their own. 

“I’m out of juice,” shouted Dante. He threw down the smoking plasma cannon and drew his lance pistol. A hail of laser fire sent him back behind cover. “The guards at the gate are at platoon strength, at least, and they got the high ground!”

Rex thought quickly. Enemy reinforcements would be scrambling to intercept them. The drop site would be overrun in a matter of minutes if they didn’t move right now. They needed to get inside and fast. Their only chance would be if… 

“Hey, I got an idea,” said Levi, “how about we send Jenkins out?”

Jenkins, the only member of the team who hadn’t yet contributed, was sitting cross-legged next to Dante. His head was in one hand. The glowing Ion Blade was in the other. He gave Levi a sour look, followed by his middle finger. “Bite me.”

“No, no, seriously man,” continued Levi, as Plasma rounds sailed over his head, “now’s your time, son. Go medieval on their asses. You got the right equipment for it.”

“Levi…” said Rex, through clenched teeth, “So help me God…”

“If you slay these foul beasts, King Arthur will surely see fit to knight you.”

“Levi, I’m warning you…”

“After all, it is cutting edge technology.”

“Oh fuck off!”

THE END